i’ve reached the point where i don’t even want to exercise anymore. i see the same number on the scale every day despite eating well and working out regularly, and it just makes me feel like i’m wasting my time. i’m not a big fan of working out anyway. i do it because i know i need to to be healthy and lose weight, but when it’s been several months and the scale hasn’t budged at all it really makes me want to throw in the towel.

i just don’t know what to do anymore. my doctor didn’t have any answers for me besides going on adipex for a couple of months to see if that increases my metabolism. my thyroid test was normal, and even my hormone leves for pcos looked normal. if there’s nothing wrong with me and i’m doing everything right then what’s the problem? i feel myself sinking more and more into depression.

but, as i said, i’ve plugged along with the exercise. i did 50 minutes on the bike today plus weights and abs, 20 minutes on the bike yesterday and weights (i had to take one of the cats to the vet so i had to cut it short), and 50 minutes on tuesday with weights and abs. again, i’m doing my part. i just wish my body would do its.

i haven’t been able to work out this week, but it’s really not my fault. on sunday, it rained so we couldn’t go to the park, and i didn’t have a chance to do my workout here. monday, i thought i had a doctor’s appointment in the morning, but it turns out i had my dates mixed up. and, yesterday, i woke up with horrible stomach cramps that took most of the morning to subside. today, my knees are hurting *really* bad from being off my enbrel for almost a week, and i really don’t want to injure them any more. i hope my enbrel card comes in today so i can pick it up. and, i hope they still have mine in stock and haven’t given it to anyone else.

despite the lack of exercise this week (and i actually miss it. how sad is that?), my weight has stayed the same, which i’m fine with. hell, it’s been staying the same even when i exercise, so not much has changed.

i’ve been struggling at the same weight for several months now. i’ve seen a cyclical effect happening where i’m down on weigh-in day, then go back up for the rest of the week. i just can’t break out of it, and i don’t know why. just when i thought i’ve broken this horrible plateau (although can it really be called a plateau when it’s your starting weight?), i hit the same number again. and, instead of daily fluctuations my weight stays the same every day. it’s so confusing and depressing. i’m really looking forward to my doctor’s appointment on monday. i’m hoping i’ll get some answers or, at the very least, be referred to a nutritionist.

i’ve been doing pretty well with my workouts this week. yesterday, i only got 10 minutes in of cardio because my muscle started to hurt really bad, but i did about 20-30 minutes of weight training, so that more than made up for it i think.

sunday
cardio
30 minutes bike

weight training
overhead press
8 lbs, 12 reps, 3 sets

running man
5 lbs, 12 reps, 3 sets

lifts
8 lbs, 12 reps, 3 sets

bent rows
8 lbs, 12 reps, 3 sets

monday
cardio
45 minutes bike

weight training
overhead press
8 lbs, 12 reps, 3 sets

running man
5 lbs, 12 reps, 3 sets

lifts
8 lbs, 12 reps, 3 sets

bent rows
8 lbs, 12 reps, 3 sets

abs
bicycle crunches
4 sets, 30 reps

regular crunches
4 sets, 15 reps

tuesday
cardio
30 minutes bike

wednesday
cardio
10 minutes bike

weight training
hammer curls
8 lbs, 12 reps, 3 sets

regular curls
8 lbs, 12 reps,3 sets

overhead tricep extension
8 lbs, 12 reps, 3 sets

abs
bicycle crunches
4 sets, 30 reps

regular crunches
4 sets, 15 reps

i guess if i post once a week it’s ok. i’ll probably lose what few readers i have but then again, this is for me really.

today’s weigh-in: 163.6. it’s up 0.4 from last week, but i just got done with my tom, so maybe there’s still a little bit of bloating? at least i’m still in the 163’s. i freaked out yesterday when my scale said 166. last night it said 165. when i first weighed myself this morning it said 165 again, but then weighed two more times and got 163. i’m going with that.

i only worked out three days this week, so i guess i really can’t complain about not getting a loss. i’m just glad i didn’t end up at 164 again. i keep bouncing back and forth between that and 163. it’s depressing.

next week i am going back to 4-5 days of working out. maybe i can get down to 162.

i’ve been pretty bad about posting here. i forget since i have my main blog that i post to every day. but, even though i haven’t been here, i have been keeping up with my working out and my dieting.

my husband took my scale away for two weeks to try to wean me off my addiction. i usually weigh myself every day, even though i know i shouldn’t. i know there are daily fluctuations, but i feel like weighing myself every day helps keep me on track. last friday’s weigh-in was at 164.2, which is only down 0.4 from a month ago. i was bummed, but yesterday my husband talked to our pharmacist, who said one of the medicines i’m on causes water retention and will make it hard for me to lose weight. that made me feel a little better. today, i weighed in at 162.8. hopefully i’ll be there or a little below on friday.

for the last two weeks i’ve made my goal of working out 4-5 days a week: five days the first week and four days last week. today was my first day working out this week. i skipped yesterday’s trip to the park because it was *cold* out. i’ve gone over my goal for calories burned on spark people, which is good.

i’ve also been staying within my calorie range, though i try to stay toward the high end since i work out more than an hour a day. i don’t need my body going into starvation mode.

does anyone read this blog? please, comment and let me know if you do!

i did a light workout today. my muscles were sore from yesterday, but i didn’t want to take the day off completely. so, i did a shorter workout but worked hard enough that i could still feel it.

cardio
20 minutes bike

abs
planks, 1 set, 15 sec.

bicycle crunches, 3 sets, 30 reps

regular crunches, 3 sets, 15 reps

i couldn’t do more than one set of planks because my forearm was hurting from where i bashed it on my sideview mirror last night. oh well. i still feel like i got a good workout in.

i’ve been mia for a few days. it’s hard keeping up with more than one blog!

my weight on friday was up 1.4 pounds to 164.6. the only reason i can think of is that my tom is approaching. i hope that’s it at least. i don’t see any other reason for a gain. i exercised, though not as much as i’d like, and kept my calorie count low.

i had a pretty good workout on sunday. i went with joe to the park while he did his circuit training for his upcoming strength and endurance challenge.

cardio
16 minutes power walking
18 minutes tennis
3 minutes wind sprints

the wind sprints at the end killed me! i didn’t think i could finish them, but i did, and i was very proud of myself.

i had another good workout today too. i finally got my 45 minutes on the bike in, all at 4 resistance, which is a first for me. i can feel my body getting stronger, and i can feel the muscles in my legs. even now, at the end of the day, they still feel tight.

cardio
45 minutes bike

weight training
overhead press
8 lbs, 12 reps, 3 sets

running man
5 lbs, 12 reps, 3 sets

lifts
8 lbs, 12 reps, 3 sets

bent rows
8 lbs, 12 reps, 3 sets

i’ve done really well with my food for today too.

lunch
baked potato: 100 calories
mixed veggies: 180 calories
saltines: 180 calories

snack
2 miniature hershey bars: 84 calories
baked lays: 130 calories
chocolate quakes, 1 serving: 60 calories

dinner
1/2 cup rice: 300 calories
black beans, 1 serving: 165 calories

total calories: 1,199

i’ve done really well so far in the last few days diet-wise. yesterday i was toward the top of my calorie range but still within my allotted amounts. today, i was right at the bottom, in fact one calorie below my minimum amount. but, i’m not hungry, which is good. yesterday was one of those days where i just couldn’t get enough to eat. i’m surprised i didn’t go over my calories. i didn’t exercise today, but i did sunday and monday, so it was ok taking today off. tomorrow, i’ll be back at it again.

sunday
cardio
26 minutes tennis

monday
cardio
30 minutes bike

weight training
overhead press
8 lbs, 12 reps, 3 sets

running man
5 lbs, 12 reps, 3 sets

lifts
8 lbs, 12 reps, 3 sets

bent rows
8 lbs, 12 reps, 3 sets

i’ll post my food diaries for the last few days tomorrow. i’m exhausted, so i’m heading to bed.

weigh-in: 163.2

that’s right, i’m down 1.2 pounds this week, which is pretty good since i only worked out twice this week after taking several days off. it was much better than i was hoping for, so i’m happy.

i got a good workout in yesterday, even though i forgot to log it. my knees have really been hurting lately from the arthritis, so i’m working back up to 45 minutes. but, i’m doing the 30 minutes on 4 resistance, which is good.

cardio
30 minutes bike

weight training
hammer curls
8 lbs, 12 reps, 3 sets

regular curls
8 lbs, 12 reps, 3 sets

bicep curl twist
8 lbs, 12 reps, 3 sets

breakfast
strawberry frosted mini wheats, 1 serving: 180 calories

lunch
subway 6″ veggie sub: 230 calories
baked lays: 130 calories
chocolate quakes, 1 serving: 60 calories

snack
2 miniature hershey bars: 84 calories

dinner
1/2 cup rice: 300 calories
black beans, 1 serving: 165 calories
tostitos, 1 serving: 160 calories

total calories: 1,309

i had a good workout tonight. i didn’t go as long as i wanted on the bike, but i did 30 minutes on 4 resistance. i decided to stop because my knees were starting to hurt. i took a few days off last week because i thought i was pregnant and, being paranoid, didn’t know if the exercise would hurt it. but, i found out that i’m not, so i’m getting back into the swing of things. i’m dying to lose this weight. or at least the tightness i’ve felt in my pants lately.

cardio
30 minutes bike

weight training
overhead press
8 lbs, 12 reps, 3 sets

running man
8 lbs, 12 reps, 3 sets

lifts
8 lbs, 12 reps, 3 sets

bent rows
8 lbs, 12 reps, 3 sets

i did really well food-wise today. i had some girl scout cookies at work and was feeling really guilty about it, but when i searched for them on calorie king i discovered i hadn’t been too bad at all — only 300 calories. tonight, we’re making a nice, healthy dinner of rice and stir fry. i should be on the low end of my calorie range today, which is good because that’s probably where i need to be to start losing the weight quickly.

breakfast
strawberry frosted mini wheats, 1 serving: 180 calories

lunch
subway 6″ veggie sub: 230 calories
baked lays: 130 calories

snack
3 thin mint cookies: 105 calories
2 do-si-do cookies: 120 calories
1 samoa cookie: 75 calories

dinner
1/2 cup rice: 300 calories
broccoli stir fry, 2 servings: 87.5 calories

total calories: 1,228